Having Sex Like Dogs on a Parking Lot
What is the significance of this parking lot at Fraser and 18th in Vancouver? It is so important for me that I went out of my way last week to take a pic of it, before it is lost to further real estate development. I used to walk along this lane virtually every day for five years, on my way to and from Tupper high school. And one memory from late 1970 is riveted in my memory cells.
The scene took place at the foreground of the pic, which at the time (42 years ago) was a parking lot for Super-Valu, a grocery store. I was in Gr. 11, and one morning, as I walked along the lane heading to school, I looked up. Two dogs approached each other, engaged in the usual butt-sniffing, and within a moment, had sex. It was a brief encounter, and then both dogs continued along their merry ways, walking in opposite directions. And in one of my typical philosophical, reflective modes, I said to myself…. “just like some of my friends.”
It was probably that weekend that I went to a party. The agenda was usually quite simple: get drunk. Around midnight, I decided to leave and went upstairs to get my jacket from one of the bedrooms. I opened the door, and walked in as a couple were doing you know what, but not doggy style like my canine friends on the parking lot, but in the missionary position. I smiled, and said, “Oops, is my jacket here?” However, they were so focused on what they were doing, they didn’t hear my question. I went unnoticed, looked around with no success, and slithered out.
… But I still did not have my jacket.
So I tried the second bedroom. And it was a carbon copy of what was happening in the first bedroom (sorry young readers… you won’t understand the allusion to carbon copies.) And ditto to everything that was happening in the first bedroom (another dated expression) … the primates were so involved in screwing that, again, they did not notice me searching for my jacket… I found it!… my jacket. I felt somewhat relieved as I was not looking forward to discovering what was happening in the 3rd bedroom. And also, this tale would start to sound like Goldilocks.
And a rambling thought came to my mind… these two senior-high couples were like the dogs on the parking lot. Perhaps guy and gal met at the party for the first time.
A few months earlier, I decided that sex (at least for humans) was something extraordinarily special… the two become one… the ideal of life-long monogamy. My formulating values as a 17 year old were greatly influenced by my high school counselor, Ralph Bagshaw, who never worried about sharing his Christian world-view in a public high school. While attending a church camp the previous summer, August, 1970, I adopted this quite bizarre Christian ideal: wait til marriage for sex. But I did not leave the Woodstock culture with regret.
I tuned out of school and immersed myself in rock music. I started drinking in Gr. 8, started smoking and selling pot and hash in Gr. 9, and started doing chemicals in Gr. 10. At the end of Gr. 10, July 1970, on one occasion, I was once so stoned on hallucinogenics that I could only lie on my bed and stare at a lamp for 6 hours til the drugs wore off. During those years, I lived for rock music: Jimi Hendrix, The Cream (Eric Clapton), Janis Joplin, and the Doors were my greatest loves. Perhaps the highlight of my music life was watching Jim Morrsion, live at a Doors concert, June, 1970. (Amazon link)
But then things started going downhill after that. Hendrix died of a drug overdose two months later (Sept. 1970), and Janis Joplin followed him a month later. Meanwhile Jim Morrison was in obvious decline and died the following year. I had the maturity to realize that the Woodstock culture of hedonism (get stoned, get screwed, get drunk) did not have any real answers. I quite willingly adopted a Christian life-style back then, and I have continued to uphold those values since that time.
Since the “watching doggies having sex on a parking lot revelation of 1970” it has been strongly affirmed in my world view, that a lifelong goal of monogamy is not just something noble, but the ideal. But reality is often in conflict with the world of ideals. On many occasions since then (43 years), I have played with fire. It’s very easy to have multiple sexual partners before marriage, and even quite easy to stray during marriage. But again and again, during the last four decades, the importance of monogamy has been clear in my thinking. (Of course, monogamy is quite a foreign concept in our contemporary culture. In the latest poll of singles in the USA, only 13% plan on waiting til marriage to have sex. And 66% of men have had sex on the first date.)