… Soul-mates, Passion, Connection

1173616_f520Soul-mates and Passion

Is there a soul-mate out there just for me?  The term is vague.  Some think a soul-mate is one person in the universe with whom you are destined to be with.  Some think it’s simply a person with whom you are compatible.

  • 313How important is passion for long-term relationships and marriage? Is the long term relationship or marriage lacking in passion doomed?
  • What exactly is  chemistry in a relationship? Is chemistry the same as passion?
  • Can chemistry and passion be cultivated in a relationship?
  • How is love different from passion?.. from chemistry? … from lust?
  • Are there pills that we can give our partner in order to improve passion?  🙂

Emotional Connectionimages (4)

Of course, the initial deep passion of the early stages of a relationship fades, nevertheless, there must be some connectedness  as the relationship continues.  A good relationship is impossible without being emotionally connected with your partner.

Physical Connectionimages

An overwhelming number of relationships start with the physical connection. Obviously we have an initial attraction which is based on the physical, what we first see.  Johnny walks into a college classroom, and in the room  with 30 young women, one stands out like a flashing neon light, as Johnny’s biological urge to merge sets in. Chemistry is at work. And so the relationship begins.  But the sad reality is that so many relationships never progress beyond the physical, the first stage of chemistry. The relationship does not develop beyond the physical attraction.  The relationship is only physical, the couple is more than likely sexually active, and there is little emotional connection. Hopefully, Johnny recognizes the importance of the emotional connection.

two-become-one-wedding-invitations-01Spiritual Connection

For many, a strong spiritual connection in an intimate relationship is a very high priority.

For example, if a Christian couple strives to follow the ideals of a Christian marriage, and if the couple truly believes that the two  become onepresumably they would desire to be build a spiritual connection.

What does spiritual connection look like?  One example to consider: Some Christian couples  pray together on a daily basis, and they find it a natural, positive, and highly rewarding experience. Other couples struggle to pray together, and after many not so positive experiences, give up the practice altogether.

A Good Tip: Marry your best friend.

images (1)“In an article published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, researchers
found that couples who value their friendship over other aspects of their relationships report greater romance and sexual satisfaction over couples who look to their partners mostly for sexual gratification.”  Kim Olver


Of course, numerous new theories of “love” are being explored in recent research studies.  Many of us grapple with that very tough question, What is Love? or What is Our Concept of Love?  I agree with some aspects of  Fredrickson’s argument, but by no means accept it all. I include such articles to explore contrasting views of age-old issues.

In her new book Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become, the psychologist Barbara Fredrickson offers a radically new conception of love. Fredrickson, a leading researcher of positive emotions at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, presents scientific evidence to argue that love is not what we think it is. It is not a long-lasting, continually present emotion that sustains a marriage; it is not the yearning and passion that characterizes young love; and it is not the blood-tie of kinship.


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