… Call off the Wedding ?

f0c73805864d45f0681409e2a8928de2This article is written by Christina Steinworth. It raises points to consider if one has the pre-wedding jitters. With a little bias, I think #5 is the most important reason. Check the link for the full article.

Calling Off A Wedding: 5 Signs You Should Do It  (from Huffington Post)

By Christina Steinorth for YourTango.com  Posted: 09/14/2012calling-off

You would be surprised how many women going through divorces tell me they knew they were making a mistake when they walked down the aisle… Below are five warning signs you may want to consider before saying “I do.”

  1. You don’t get along with his family…
  2. You’ve dated for less than a year…
  3. You haven’t come to an agreement about kids, careers and other fundamental issues…
  4. You lack conflict resolution skills…AA_New_Sunny_Gale_SM_Call_off_the_wedding
  5. Your gut feeling is telling you to call it off. We have gut feelings for a reason and where most of us get into trouble is when we don’t listen to them. If your gut feeling is telling you to call of your wedding, it’s probably a good idea to listen to that feeling and at the very least postpone your wedding until the feeling goes away. If you are meant to be together, that current gut feeling that is telling you “don’t do it,” will eventually pass.

Christina Steinorth, MA, MFT,   Psychotherapist, and author of  Cue Cards for Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships.   Amazon link.



Veiled Doubts: New Data on Reasons to Say ‘I Don’t’   (from Pacific Standard)

Doubts before “I do” can predict unhappy marriages and even divorce, but many brides walk down the aisle anyway.

New research from the University of California, Los Angeles, suggests that couples should listen to such premarital doubts long before they walk down the aisle, as uncertainty during an engagement can portend a strained marriage and early divorce… When Lavner and his coauthors crunched the data, they found that the divorce rate among women who’d had doubts before saying “I do” was two-and-a-half times higher than those who had strode down the aisle carefree. In addition, those who remained in their marriages were more likely to be unhappy. And for men? There seems to be little correlation between doubt and later divorce. In other words, a wife’s doubt predicts a failed marriage—not her husband’s.

Kevin Charles Redmon is a journalist and critic. He lives in Washington, D.C.

From:  Breaking Up Is Hard To Do – How To Avoid Temporary Insanity,  by Dr. Lauren Sierra Thomas  
I believe more strongly than ever that a break-up is one of your greatest opportunities for personal transformation and growth… any powerful transition (birth, death, coupling, separation)  has the potential to transform us.

How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy by Jennifer Gauvain

    • Do you think you may be marrying the wrong guy?
    • Do you have cold feet and want to call off your wedding?
    • Do you have doubts about your boyfriend?

Thanks to the real-life stories of women who knew their marriage was a mistake as they walked down the aisle, we’ll help you:

    • Diagnose cold feet vs. jitters
    • Listen to your gut
    • Find the courage to call it off—before it’s too late

Jennifer Gauvain is a licensed clinical social worker whose primary focus is working with couples and families. With over 13 years experience in private practice, she helps us interpret the stories gathered and addresses the issues revealed by those who forged ahead with a mistaken marriage.

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